Tattered
by Kazima Kuwabara
Summary: yaoi. Pretty short. Watch as a man cries over something he has lost.. A tattered journal will tell you why this young man, now weeps for his bestfriend.


I own nothing...but I'd really like to own Kuwabara's hair gel.  
  
Yusuke: why?!  
  
cuz it must be magic to hold all his hair.  
  
Hiei:...humans...  
  
oh...and...READ THREE TESTS~~~CHAPTER 13 IS UP~~~~OOOOOO~~~  
  
Hiei: *twitch* THIS ISN'T HALLOWEEN YOU BAKA!!  
  
Kuwa:....I'm gonna get tortured again...  
  
everyone: Kazima...  
  
What? Its my TM! but yeah i want everyone to read my three tests cuz I love it so much!! There's so many things-  
  
Kuwa: T_T where I get harmed....or dead!  
  
That, or have you and Yusuke shack up.  
  
In a room, that had a balcony outside, a young man sat on a bed. The room was quiet and there was barely any light. A small lamp giving off the only light. The wind blew the curtains, and made them dance in the room.   
  
The young man was crying. He held a tattered black journal. It was old, and thin. This journal was rather odd, it appeared old, and worn. There was even blood on it. But this journal, had been written in only a few times.  
  
The man with a shaking hand, opened the book.  
  
Entry 1  
  
Yeah. I started a diary like thing. This is stupid. Very stupid. But...I'm feeling a bit...weird. Freaked. Messed up. Emotionally drained. There are so many words for how I feel. The ghosts around me are getting louder. They're so angry.  
  
Entry 2  
  
Came back from a mission. Came home to Hell. The ghosts bother me while I sleep now. They won't leave me alone. I tried talking to them, to ease their souls and pain. They hurt so much it breaks my heart. I'm proud to say I got most of them to leave. They moved on. And they take their true forms. As children. Men. Woman. Pets. They stretch out into my ceiling and beckon me to follow. One stayed behind. He did not move on.  
  
Entry 3  
  
By talking with this ghost, it has become back to the form it used to be. He is a killer. Was a killer. Hiei asked me about the burn on my shoulder, I told him someone did it to me. So therefore, I did not lie.  
  
Entry 4  
  
I'm in pain. I have to suffer from missions, and come home for the ghosts to torture me, and if they are really angry, like the former killer guy, then they hurt me. Kurama and Hiei noticed the cuts on my wrists. I did not do them. It was the ghosts...but I'm scared. What are they trying to do? Hiei and Kurama keep looking at me now. They think I'm harming myself. Please Don't tell Yusuke.  
  
Entry 5  
  
I could go on about Yusuke. He's my best friend. I love him. But I'm not sure what type of love. As days roll by I get to thinking. Grr....Hiei would have said some stupid joke right now...that jerk....stupid shrimp-AHH! HIEI MADE ME GET OFF SUBJECT! DAM*IT!-Lets start over. I get to thinking about how I true  
  
The man sniffed loudly. The entry stopped there, and several brown stained of old blood stained the page.  
  
Entry 6  
  
Dam* ghosts. Got me yesterday. I don't know how, but this one was really angry. Yusuke. He now dwells on my mind. Who is he? I know him more than anyone else. But he's hiding something. As am I. heh. We are both hiding something. I don't know what his is, but I pray it isn't painful. I love him, and don't want to have him harmed. What type of love do I love him as? I wish I knew. I really don't...I'm lost. Mom...Dad...why aren't you alive?  
  
Entry 7  
  
My sister noticed the cuts. She's getting suspicious. I hate the ghost of the killer.  
  
Entry 8  
  
I want to die. The whole gang, all of us, were just relaxing at Genkai's. We were sitting near the dark forest, and Yusuke was chasing Puu around. He waved at me, but I was too busy laughing as Boeton dropped a water balloon on Hiei's head. We were all kind of concerned he'd blow up. But since he told Yukina that he was her brother, and she did not turn away, he's been nicer. He laughed and said he'd kill her but more in a friendly matter. He and I still fight. But since the fist time I met him, when we started arguing, I knew that this was how we'd get along. You know the saying, "We agree to Disagree"  
  
Well, Anyhow...  
  
We're all there, Genkai, Kurama, Yukina, Hiei, Boeton, Yusuke, and me. The mighty Kuwabara. And then....the cold tickle feeling was there. But since I turned 19 the feeling has become stronger. The ghost of a leaf makes me shudder. Whatever this was, it made this tickle feeling, turn into a seizure. It hurt, and I saw green. Not like I was passing out, but green. As in a ghost. The ghost and color, and it was larger than 3 bears on top of each other. It dove over me concealing me in a cave.  
  
A cave of Hell.   
  
It tried to enter my body, and I heard this whistling sound, and my nose began to bleed, followed by my ears. I screamed, and then I heard Genkai's voice. She said something, and I sat up. I was starring at he sky. Everything had been put on mute. It was so peaceful I fell back on the ground, starring. Yusuke was hovered over me screaming, but I could not hear. But I felt...I felt my heart beat. It was beautiful in the silence. I heard no screams, or mourning cries from ghosts.  
  
I wanted to stay in the silence. Then, I realized that everyone was starring at me. Everything was ruined. Suddenly I felt confused, As if I should run away. Genkai was telling me something but I couldn't hear. I don't know what she was saying, but it didn't matter.  
  
I spun around. The world blending into color. I was looking. What was sucking me away. I began to run blindly, I didn't know where I was going. Then I was at Genkai's stairs.   
  
Do it.   
  
Something in my head said that. Kill yourself. It urged me forward, and I looked back at everyone. Yusuke was shaking, and walking slowly towards me. At that moment I didn't know what was going on. I wrestled with myself, and then I knew what was wrong. A part of that green spectral was in me.  
  
Why? I'd done nothing...but it came. Sure and swift as wind, I fell on my knees holding my head, and I felt something push me, trying to shove me down the temple stairs. Genkai there something, and Yusuke grabbed my shoulders, "KUWABARA!"   
  
Whatever she'd done, it forced the green ghost outta me, and I could hear again. But it pushed me, and I fell down the stairs, but Yusuke was there. He held onto me and would not let go even, as I seemed to pick up speed, as if I was being dragged. I don't know when we stopped but when it was over, I lay atop him. He was panting and bleeding a little.  
  
He smiled weakly his eyes looking at me. He would kill me if I said this, but he's pretty. He is lovely. He is handsome, and brave challenging a demon, he's just plain hot fighting, and then...when he looks at me, and does some small act of showing me he cares about me, he is beautiful. He is beyond words.  
  
"You Drama Queen." He chuckles. I try to laugh, but blood comes out instead. He sits up quickly at that point. He held me, my head in his lap. "I didn't want you to know I was broken. I stopped working a long time ago. Someone fix me." I don't know what I was talking about. I don't think anyone did.  
  
Then I passed out, and woke at Genkai's. I snuck out and came here. The ghosts are not bothering me. They sense the great evil of that ghost, that still lingers it's scent around...as if marking me as his territory. This is weird but...I...  
  
I feel as if I was raped.  
  
Entry 8  
  
I Hurt...so much.  
  
Entry 9  
  
Yusuke was so mad at me yesterday. He yelled at me for running off. But then after that he laid down with me, and place his arm over my chest. "Tell me...what's going on. I want to know everything about you." I now know what type of love if feel for him.  
  
And I am disgusted, Yusuke will hate me.  
  
Entry 10  
  
I have to get out of this place...I can't take the voices any more. Please help me...Yusuke...Mom...Dad...please. Why do I beg a journal to send me help. Please help me make it stop.  
  
Entry 11  
  
Hiei paid a visit last night. He came in eyes wide. He witnessed a violent ghost scratching my back, and ripping my flesh. He of course did not see the spirit, but he saw me. He came over to me and asked me how long this had been going on. "I don't remember." I have not been counting the days.  
  
He sat with me until I fell asleep. I do not know how long he lingered, but he was not there when I awoke.  
  
Entry 12  
  
Kurama has given me herbs to place on my body, that will repel ghosts. It'll keep at least 75% of them away from me. That's a miracle for me.  
  
I'm assuming until I'm better Hiei will show up in my room. He watched me sleep, like a guard.  
  
Entry 13  
  
I know wonder if Yusuke feels the same way. He stares at me, and when I noticed, he turned and blushed. Maybe he's just concerned for me. I wish...it wasn't concern, I hope Its not concern.  
  
Hiei here again, and he brought more herbs from Kurama, who also had some leaves for his tea.  
  
Entry 14  
  
I'M NOT STAYING HERE ANYMORE!  
  
Entry 15  
  
I went to Yusuke's house. He invited me in, and told me I could stay. I hadn't even asked. I began crying, for what reason I'm not aware of. He held me and rocked me. He didn't say anything. I'm tired.  
  
Entry 16   
  
Yusuke loves me.  
  
Entry 17  
  
The first night I stayed here I was afraid I'd see more ghosts. And yes, I was beginning too, but then Yusuke came in the guest room. He looked around as if he felt them, though I know he couldn't. "If there are any Ghosts in here, I swear to God if you go near him, You'll suffer when I die."  
  
They disappeared. Even ghosts fear the great Yusuke.  
  
He came in and laid down by me, and just starred into my eyes. He wiped my tears, and played with my loose hair. He smiled. He was lovely again. I know I was blushing and I blurted, "You should go...You'll get hurt..I wouldn't be able to take that." Yusuke pulled me too him, and Kissed me.  
  
Full blown, mouth to mouth kiss. He even frenched me after I relaxed. The kiss felt good, and I moaned, so the next thing I knew, we were frenching. He had his hands on my hips, and he broke away panting. "I love you. Don't you dare leave me." And I didn't. We shared that room that night.  
  
I love him. Until the day I die.  
  
The man on the bed sobbed. There are no more entries. The author of the diary, of the journal, was released from his curse, and killed the day he went home by one of the ghosts. He left his love behind.  
  
He sits sobbing on the bed.  
  
That's it. Its over. Go home...wait...no..GO READ THREE TESTS! CHAPTER 13 IS UP!!  
  
Yusuke: Why are you making your voice sound like a ghosts?  
  
i'm nerve gonna post at 4 in the morn' again. I'M TIRED!! 


End file.
